Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
