If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
