Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
