I just saw a hot homeless man
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize