how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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