I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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