you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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