I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
