Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
