At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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