ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
that's an acceptable place to lick
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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