I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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