i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
