I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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