So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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