you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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