Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
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