I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Randomize
