honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
