brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
