I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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