You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I think my vagina is haunted
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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