from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
