I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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