i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
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She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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