question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Randomize
