You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Randomize
