We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
