I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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