I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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