for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Randomize
