the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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