OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
