there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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