Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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