So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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