All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
