Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
