I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
