So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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