Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This is classic penis vs brain.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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