I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
