Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I AM VODKA MAN
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
