Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Hippo gnu deer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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