Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
