sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
