Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize