Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
