Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
