I'm so fucking centered right now
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
