Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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