i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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