And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is it penis luge time yet?
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Randomize
