i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
