I must be too annoying 4 u.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
