i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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