I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
