Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
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