I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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