He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
