it's too hot outside to masturbate.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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