if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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