WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize