You made me cry and you don't even care
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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